Theresa and Tom ask: How can I get my children to behave?
Thank you, Theresa and Tom! What parents don’t want to know more effective ways of creating cooperation and harmony in the home?
Since I don’t have all of the details of your household it makes it a bit difficult for me to give an accurate answer, but I will give our you and our readers some general and valuable advice.
There are two things that are supremely important in parenting. One is consistency and the other predictability.
In general, we parent according to our emotional state of being. If we are tired, stressed or unhappy, we will be directing our children differently than if we feel happy, rested and positive. Children catch onto this very early on and become masters at taking advantage of these situations. However, it isn’t their job to correct it. As the adult parent, it is our job to be consistent the family rules and values we have determined no matter how we feel. If not, our children will be less likely to follow our rules.
Predictability is the flip side of the same coin as consistency. Children, for proper development, self-regulation and emotional stability need to be able to predict the outcome of their choices and actions. This makes them feel safe and trust your parenting. For many reasons this is highly important. Children who don’t get this will likely develop anxiety at an early age.
In closing, I suggest that you both come together and develop a plan that will support these two dynamics. If you do this with consistency and predictability you will find that everyone’s mood will improve and that daily tasks will flow much easier.
My favorite parenting book is: Positive Parenting with a Plan by Dr Matthew Johnson.