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  • Writer's pictureTracy Becker

How do you kindly deflect negative people?

You’ve Got This by Tracy Becker


Andy asks: How do you kindly deflect negative people?


A terrific question, Andy. Thank you. Many people report having this problem especially at work, or out in their community.


When you encounter someone that wants to complain or take a negative approach remember that these people are suffering be it emotional, physical or from limited mental perspectives. You can count on this, happy people don’t contaminate conversations, whereas unhappy people do. If you don’t feel good, it is harder to act good. Thus, a bit of forgiveness and understanding are useful for your own well-being.

Secondly, if you can, distance yourself from these people as often as you can. If you can’t, begin setting boundaries. To do this you might say one of the following: I would rather talk about the good things in life. I’m sorry you are not feeling that life is going well for you, is there anything I can do to help? I do my very best to not talk in negative way, can you please avoid talking about these things to me, it really brings me down. Feel free to use any of these or create a more accurate statement of your own.


If you are out in the world and run into someone who is in a very cranky mood do your best to bring some positivity to them. This is called having compassion without knowing someone’s personal story. You will never know the pain and suffering anyone person is feeling at any given time. They could be struggling with any number of issues at any given time. I bet you can think back on your life when things weren’t necessarily going your way and in this internal battle you lashed out at others. Its an unfortunate part of being human. Thus, having compassion and giving them a quick smile, a compliment, or saying something uplifting is the best you can do.


If you are referring to a more personal relationship, I would like to refer you to some of the articles that were published in the past on dealing with the same things with friends, spouses and family members.


You’ve got this, Andy.

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